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LA PREGHIERA DI UN FUORI DI TESTA

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martedì, 05 dicembre 2006

LA PREGHIERA DI UN FUORI DI TESTA

Cara Silvia,

                     se riprendo e sviluppo sul sito l’argomento è perchè il tuo è un dramma che accomuna tante madri, padri, figli…Ogni storia è unica e irripetibile ma il denominatore comune è la “sofferenza impotente”.

Se questo sito esiste lo è unicamente per trasfondere, dove e quando è possibile, gocce di coraggio e di speranza ai compagni di viaggio che rischiano di annegare nell’attraversata del mare turbolento della vita.

A sua tempo ho conosciuto alla grande il sapore del pianto, centellinato l’amaro delle lacrime davanti allo strazio di una giovane vita, la madre dei miei figli in tenera età, dai giorni contati, stando alle fondate previsioni dei medici.

Prima di iniziare il conto alla rovescia, sono passati undici anni.  Ho avuto tempo per rivolgermi alla scienza che ho sperimentato impotente; sono ricorso ai maghi, ai veggenti..Poi sono passato ai Santi: questo, quello, quell’altro…

Tutti mi hanno lasciato un segno,  aperto gl’occhi, costretto a documentarmi, ad usare la ragione e la fede. Alla fine quest’ultima ne è uscita diversa, sfrondata, purificata da tante incrostazioni.

Perchè tutto quel soffrire che ha lasciato strascichi pesanti che un po’ tutti in famiglia ancora scontiamo? La risposta non ce l’ho ma la fiuto…E non è molto diversa dalla tua, proprio perchè ti è chiesto il martirio del cuore.

Ciò che metto in circolazione è quel poco che mi par di aver capito, sempre in cerca di scoprire quel tanto che mi manca e che cerco di apprendere alla CATTEDRA DEI SOFFERENTI che sono i professori più attendibili perchè vengono dalla scuola del grande Maestro, Gesù di Nazareth, il Crocifisso-Risorto.

Sono ormai  centinaia i blog che parlano di  Dio. Molto meno quelli che cercano di parlare CON DIO. Noi vorremmo distinguerci per questa scelta. Non è facile avere seguaci ma il numero non conta.  Conta piuttosto che si condivida, si soffra, si speri… con chi ha i suoi “buoni motivi” per lamentarsi di Dio e con Dio.

Spesso anche il mio pregare è stato caratterizzato dalla protesta. Quella di seguito, fermata sulla carta, potrebbe essere così totolata:

PREGHIERA DI UN FUORI DI TESTA

  • Tu mi guardi e mi leggi negl’occhi,
  • Tu conosci i segreti del cuore;
  • ogni gesto ti è familiare,
  • Tu sai tutto di me, proprio tutto.
  • Sto vivendo giornate d’angoscia
  • e sai bene che ho tanta paura;
  • vengo meno se penso al futuro,
  • avrei voglia di farla finita.
  • Ogni giorno s’infrangono i sogni,
  • vanno in fumo i miei tanti progetti;
  • una statua impietrita mi sento,
  • prigioniero di un corpo malato.
  • Ho bisogno di urlare, Signore,
  • d’imprecare con tutte le forze
  • per sfogare quel cupo tormento
  • che avvilisce, avvelena la vita.
  • Ma perché, ma perché, o Signore,
  • proprio a me, prioprio a me, proprio adesso!
  • Non è giusto, non deve morire,
  • terminare così i suoi giorni.
  • Tu non parli, sei sordo, sei muto,
  • un fantasma, un vampiro, una iena…
  • Ma chi sei?  Tu non sei, non sei niente…
  • Non esisti, sei pura illusione.
  • Te la prendi con me, Cos’ho fatto?
  • Sono un verme, non hai compassione?
  • Se ci sei, dove stai, cosa fai?
  • Ma Ti costa a muovere un dito?
  • Maledetto quel giorno che nacqui !
  • Perché mai questo schifo di vita?
  • Ho creduto: così mi ripaghi?
  • Spappolandomi reni e cervello?
  • Ah se udissi soltanto un lamento
  • di un cuore umiliato e pentito…!
  • Peccatore mi ha concepito,
  • senza colpa, una povera madre.
  • Io piango!  Le lacrime amare
  • che mi restano ormai son finite.
  • Questo straccio di uomo che implora ,
  • non ha forza nemmeno d’urlare.
  • Crocifisso, compagno di viaggio,
  • che raccogli gl’insulti, gli sfoghi,
  • non dar peso alle vuote parole
  • di un povero cieco che muore…

Ma…

Un giorno le grida insistenti, assordanti di un povero cieco, sono giunte alle Tue orecchie, Gesù (  Marco, 10, 46-52 ) Egli non sapeva dire altro che questo:

“Gesù, abbi pietà di me!”.

E Tu l’hai udito e gli hai chiesto: “Che cosa vuoi?”

Era così evidente!  Ma a Te non bastano i nostri lamenti. Vuoi sapere perchè si grida:

“Voglio vederci”.

E Tu lo hai liberato. Lo hai reso uomo, capace di vedere e distinguere le cose.

Gesù, abbi pietà di me!  Che cosa voglio?

  Voglio…

  • vedere la Strada
  • assaporare la Verità,
  • avere la Vita

Se Tu vuoi, puoi guarirmi !

Angelo Nocent

 

IL LAMENTO DI CRISTIANO

Come sempre, sono stanco, Signore. Tu taci, sei crudele e spietato. La tua Passione è durata una serata, una notte, mezza giornata. Quando pregavi angosciato nell’orto sono venuti gli angeli a consolarti. Qando gli amici Ti hanno abbandonato, hai detto:se possibile passi da me questo calice, ma non la mia ma la Tua Volontà.
Sei andato incontro alla Passione, fino a dare la vita, sei caduto più volte sotto il peso, hai grondato sangue e sudore… poi il Padre Ti ha resuscitato…
Noi abbiamo detto: sia fatta la Tua volontà, ma per noi non ci sono angeli consolatori, non c’è misericordia, non ci sono Veroniche o Cirenei… Non bastano ore, giorni.. Non c’è morte nè Resurrezione.
ci concedessi almeno la morte!
E’ vero che la Tua notte è iniziata entrando nel mondo: ecco, io vengo, o Dio, per fare la Tua Volontà… E’ durata trentatrè anni? forse, forse qualcosa in più, la storia non è così certa.
Quanto ancora la nostra notte? Non abbiamo più forza, nessuna. Non abbiamo più vita.
Tu dici: continua ad avere Fede. Anche quel padre cui era morta la figlia, si è sentito dire così. Ma quanto ha dovuto aspettare? Noi non abbiamo più forza sotto i colpi. Io sono bersaglio perenne, come la sagoma su cui si scarica la violenza del pugile, il flagello piombato, sono legato alla colonna da anni.
Basta Signore.
Se ci sei, pietà. Non ti chiedo Resurrezione, solo la morte: Ti ringrazierò in eterno.                (Cristiano 2003)

 

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